things are not getting better

There were layoffs at my place of employment yesterday. The day began with a note from the top man telling us that we were going to have to say good bye to some colleagues. If you were one of the people being kicked to the curb you would know by EOD. If that isn’t a way to insure NOTHING GETS DONE ALL DAY I do not know what is. WTF. Was I one of them, no but the entire day was like a natural disaster check in. 

My mother is sleeping all the time. She has this gnarly sore on her ass that won’t heal. It hurts to sit. She is passing out on the toilet. She has no strength left. Sigh. Every time I go downstairs she is asleep. Her shoulder also hurts and the only way to fix it is surgery. Clearly she is not interested. The Parkinson’s has really taken a hold of her this past year. She shakes like crazy and leans over to the side. Degenerative diseases are so fucking sinister. They chip away at someone for years and chips away at everyone around them. 

I just returned from a work trip to LA. The most relaxation I have had was at work on a stressful shoot. The shoot actually turned out to be great. Being away from LA for over a year and going back is so odd. I have no clue how I could live there as long as I did. I couldn’t find a fucking juice at my hotel that didn’t have turmeric in it. To be fair, I do miss the sushi.

I digress because thinking about my life right now is emotionally difficult. How can my mother’s body keep on going with all it has been through. My mother-in-law told me when I was pregnant and worried that “I CAME FROM HEARTY STOCK” like I am a prize cow. I guess she was right as it turns out,we are very hearty!