pubic hair on my cheek

Pubic Hair on my cheek!?

You are already getting the wrong idea - there is nothing remotely sexy about this. 

I went to put make-up on and on my lower cheek was an insanely long curly black hair. It just appeared there. It was not there moments before when I washed my hands in the sink.The most terrifying thing was the length, it has 3 full curl swirls. The aging process is complete shit!

Speaking of aging people my mother is saying she has a spaceship in her eye. Uhm…we are thinking it is ANOTHER UTI , she just had one about a week ago. She was also petting  parakeets, telling us how beautiful they are. Then she decided her aide was trying to kill her,there was a man behind her computer with a knife. Later that night she knocked over a lamp and told my father she fucking hated him. That escalated  quickly. Can we hop a ride on that spaceship in your eye and get out of here crazy lady? 

911 was called. I heard something in the kitchen, I thought that my daughter had started cooking in the middle of the night again. God Darn that kid! Oh wait no, that is a stretcher with my mother.  I see my dad. Why didn’t you call me? He did, I guess you didn’t hear me. (Sigh). 

She has been looking pretty ragged lately. She does this thing where she passes out and is unresponsive for at least 2 or 3 minutes. Every time something happens I just think - is today the day? Is this finally going to happen? When you have been mourning and preparing for someone’s death for over 25 years, it will still be a shock at the moment it happens.

The diagnosis, she has another UTI! They give her a different drug and send her on her way. And we are back to where we left off somewhere between hopeless and pathetic with zero spaceships.