5th grade furry

I was ambushed by the principal at school today. I went to the school to pick up the effing pies I bought for a fundraiser. I was in the office dropping off gifts to the teachers when the principal saw me and said I WAS JUST GOING TO CALL YOU. 

So…my daughter has to do a presentation in her computer class about a hobby. She picked being a FURRY as her hobby. She told the other girls that was her topic and a girl told her mom who texted another mom and then that other mom called the principal.

I thought it was only a sex fetish that people think is attached to Furries (in my day they were called PLUSHIES) - which is not true in my daughter’s case because she doesn’t know what a fetish is. Once she told me she was bi-sexual because she likes cats AND dogs as her favorite pets. She is 10 and likes to wear a costume. She is not making cash at night online in her catsuit on her ONLY FANs page.

I said, she doesn’t understand that there is any sort of sexual connotation with this. I was told this is a catholic school so she can’t do a presentation on this. It brings up gender fluidity. (What?) So I googled it - litter boxes in schools! These so called furries are not just getting freaky in their fur suits they are getting fecal! As it turns out Furries are the ruination of society! Hmmm. 

Are they? How is she hurting anyone in her cat head? How is it different than adults going to Disney and waiting in line to get their picture taken with someone in a furry suit? Worshipping a Furry dressed like a mouse as if they’re a deity. 

I reacted as any normal woman approaching menopause reacts - I cried. I was so pissed that these women were gossiping about my daughter. Seeing themselves as warriors for Christ making sure that the 10 year old fiend from LA didn’t further pollute their innocents.  

I called my husband and thankfully he was rational. He called the principal and said - my daughter does not associate being a FURRY with “being a deviant”. He also questioned how the other child knew this was “wrong” and why that parent went right to that? He said I can’t control how that parent thinks and what they tell their child. 

We had to tell my daughter to change her topic. She cried thinking we did not like her. She would not change her topic to “cosplay” because “that is not what a Furry is”. That is why she was trying to do this…to explain the people behind the fur. So I find myself in the middle of Warriors for Christ and the tween Spokeswoman for all Furry kind.

Which brings me back to WHAT THE FUCK?I have to explain to my daughter about sexual identity and how people base their opinions on targeted stories that algorithms serve up to their feed. After tears and a huge freak out she changed her topic to Harry Potter. Ya know, about witchcraft? Cue montage of frantic Warriors for Christ texting each other…Furry turned heretic! Does that make her a Hurry or a Feretic?